May Day ’18:
Why do people take ‘the defense’ of decisions they make? If other’s opinions are acceptable – if not right or way wrong – why do those who could use advice become offended and defensive?
It is a natural, if not psycho phenomenon, to take on ‘defense mechanisms’ in order to justify or rationalize. It is natural in that by adopting a ‘defense mechanism’ it protects one’s mind from harm, for better or for worse. I learned this simple stuff as an undergraduate Psychology major at Indiana University – where incidentally, I met my daughter’s mother. After about five years of up-and-down courtship, we were lawfully married for more than 26 years.
The reasons we got married are not the same rational reasons Americans take on marriage these days. What we had in-common drifted over the years prompting a great idea to split up despite the consequences. To me, money did not matter. That perspective worked to my ex-spouses future benefit.
What was neat is that we birthed a wonderful daughter and resumed a Christian relationship. Unfortunately, I am the only one who regularly celebrates my Christianity. That is probably the most difficult issue remaining for me; the fact that my ex-lover married a Republican (she has been a life-long Democrat and I am in the Green Party) atheist. Her faith was so strong a decade ago that my friends gave her the nickname ‘Church Lady.’
Thones of Angels Praising God Playing Harps
Mores, morality, judgments, values, principles, and our life goals and missions change when we ditch the importance of integrating religion into our lives. Being good stewards of the earth is a religious concept. I agree with Pope Francis I that one can have a spiritual life without being a Catholic. Regardless, I seriously considered the priesthood after my first and only divorce.
Being a child of my parents’ divorce and having five step-sisters, I believe, gives me a rich perspective of divorce, marriage, and remarriage. I can accept what is written in the Bible, too. Belief in these writings is one thing, not to believe in God in any sort of fashion ain’t a good thing for atheists or children or others who are looking for fine role models.
My Roman Catholic mother received a lot of counseling from a priest at the University of Notre Dame prior to her divorce and ended up re-marrying another ‘excommunicated’ Catholic who worked at N.D.
Despite it all, I feel I had a relatively mentally healthy childhood and adulthood. Nowadays given circumstances like my own, divorced people can get married in the Catholic Church.
Unfortunately, my ex-lover of over thirty years in unable to try to understand all this Roman Catholic dogma. Again, her ‘defense mechanisms’ kick in.
I value being able to receive sanctifying grace by receiving the sacraments of communion and confession regularly and taking the Sacrament of the Healing of the Sick whenever necessary… in my life, I have received what used to be called ‘the last rites’ four times during the last three years.
– to be continued –
– (Check out our other web-blogs for the first three parts of this series of articles)
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[ for musement only ]